Complex

It's funny how trivial comments that people make can really affect someone. Like, yesterday, James mentioned something which I was pretty sensitive about. I didn't say anything, but ever after all these things have been creeping up into my head.

It wasn't anything big, just "If I were you, I'd get that mole removed". He meant the mole on the back of my neck. I'm super sensitive about it because it's not very nice. Probably because of things that happened as a kid, like most things. Luckily it's low enough to just be hidden by my t-shirt if I'm careful. The one and only other thing I don't like about my body is the enlarged vein on the back of my forearm. It's only about 150mm but it's bright blue and looks pretty gross. Never used to bother me though, I used to joke about it at school and make up stories about it for the millions of times people asked me what it was. It does wear a bit thin after the millionth person though, especially when people ask to see it and someone at the gym asked "does it, you know, put people off you?".

I'd hate to think that I'm so shallow that I'd get these removed. Yesterday at the gym (just before my conversation with James) I was really sensitive about my forearm, for some reason. But then I just shook it off and reminded myself what some people have to put up with, this is absolutely pathetic, an insult to the worried of others.

It's stupid how things can affect you as a kid though. I remember my dad's sense of humour when I was young. I used to come back from school and he'd say "Rich, you tell me where that hedge is and I'll cut it down" because of my hair. I've never found it anything but funny, but maybe I did deep down. When I was really young, my household nickname was "a head on a stick", I never thought anything of it back then, but now I suppose that's why I've been going to they gym every other day religiously since I was old enough to join. And why I'm so ridiculously obsessed with my diet. Maybe my health obsessions are also down to my bad skin when I was young. I'm glad to say I've pretty much sorted these two things now.

Anyway, that's it, that's all I've got to say. I know people don't mean any harm, but they should really think before they speak. To be honest, I'm not as bothered as I sound in this post, it just made me think, is all.

p.s. I don't mean to sound hard done by or unlucky, I'm not. Like I said, I couldn't even begin to imagine what some people go through in life, this is just a discussion, ants at a picnic, nothing more.