U.G.L.Y

I don't know if other people did this as a kid, but some years ago I made a collection of all of the most hideous photos of myself. I was a very ugly kid, college was the worst. I wasn't proud of my ugliness, but I'm glad I could see the funny side of it. God's little joke, if you will.

Anyway, without further ado, let's see some of the photos!! Cover your eyes!!

Uhh, I think that one was back in senior school. But I was actually meant to look ugly that day. I was dressed up for red nose day in just my pyjamas and bed-head hair. Raising money for charity with my retched ugliness! Looks like I was the only child-in-need that day! Boom-boom!

I went for the whole long-hair thing at college. Who knows why! Must've been the fashion back then! It wasn't pretty.

The next one has to be my favourite, though. I was chopping onions with goggles to stop me crying:

Beautiful!

Ahh, I'm pleased to say that I don't feel that ugly anymore!

Omg, so yesterday I went to the comedy club with Lucy. We sit away from the front so that we don't get picked on. But this week turns out to be the first week they have wireless microphones! The host made sure that no-one at the front got picked on, he would walk to the back to pick on them! So guess who he picks on!! Me! I'm trying to avoid eye-contact as he walks past me and he notices... He starts joking about it, but check this out: he asks me what subject I study and I say "computer science" and everyone starts laughing!! What the heck!? Either computer science has a really bad reputation or I should become a comedian!

Speak to you soon!!

Sun

Firstly, can I just say how sorry I am for being so whiny in my last few posts. I never realise quite how stupid I sound until I read them back to myself. I'm happy really, see :-) Plus today has been a great day! Very productive! It makes me feel so much more relaxed and chilled out, just like I used to. Just like I will after uni.

Ahh, the sun is coming out! It was out all of last week and it makes me so much happier :-) Even my music taste changes depending on the weather! I'm so glad I've chilled out lately and that the stressful patch was only temporary. I went to see a band the other day and one of the support bands took me to another place! They were so floaty and dreamy, I'm so glad I found them! Plus, I've finished the last piece of coursework that I'll EVER have to do in my life!! Just my dissertation and some revision to go before it's all over! But I don't want it to be over! I love Cardiff University! Even when I'm super-stressed or have waaaay too much work, I love it! I do!

Life's really great at the moment! I can walk through the parks in the sun again, I have a brilliant pseudo-girlfriend, I have brilliant friends and I'm looking forward to the excitement of finishing uni!

So the other day Speed went on a night out to a club. The next day I'm wondering where he is. I kept going to visit him but his door was locked. I got to 13:00 and got worried. I text his friend and tried phoning him but there was no answer. So May and I start hammering on his bedroom door and finally he wakes up! But he wouldn't let us in his bedroom! Bit-by-bit he started describing his face and it sounded like he had been in a fight! We finally convinced him to open the door and when he did he looked terrible! Blood between his eyes, two chipped teeth, grazes everywhere and the fattest lip you've ever seen! What happened! He didn't really remember, but he remembers lying in a gutter and an ambulance picking him up and dropping him home. He must've fallen over and hit the pavement! What a mess, I'm so glad I don't get drunk like that!

My little sister should really think twice before talking about her sex life in those Facebook 25 question posts...

Do you think we are really free to choose religion? If I wanted to be religious (for benefits such as entry to heaven, a great social community and apparently religious people live longer) then I still don't think I could do it because I don't believe in God. Even if I wanted to believe in him, I still don't, so surely I could never become religious. Maybe you can't choose religion. Maybe religion chooses you...

Scapegoat

Isn't socialising strange! Blog, you know how in a person–person relationship there is one dominating character and one submissive character? Well I'm usually the submissive one. It's ok, though, I kind-of like it. I feel more comfortable if the other person thinks they have a bit of power. I suppose it makes them more comfortable to be around me. Sometimes it sucks, though! Check this out:

In my house, most of my housemates are socially dominant to me. Which is usually fine! But it has it's problems, such as me being the scapegoat. If something goes wrong I'll get the blame for it. Usually in a funny / non-serious way. For example, our toilet seat broke the other day so people start blaming me for it even though they really don't have a clue. Then they start making-up scenarios of how I did it, and some people probably start truly believing that I did it as the rumor spreads! That's not so fun. But sometimes some people get a bit too high on their power-trip and they get nasty with me. Things start kicking off, and I'm never nasty back, but I become extremely annoying! It's my way of dealing with it, unfortunately. Instead of getting violent back, I end up annoying them so much (in a passive way so that nothing gets physical) that they'll storm off and sulk.

Oh, curse my terrible talent for annoying people!

When I am best friends with someone, I usually annoy them so much after two years of knowing them that we are no longer friends (except some AMAZING best friends! Like Natalie! She's sent from Heaven and we annoy each-other sooo much but we still love each-other). I was explaining this to Speed last year and how, unfortunately, we probably won't be friends for much longer. He told me "don't worry, you'll never get rid of me!" But I think we're getting pretty close to the stage now. He's meeting new friends, you know! Soon he'll leave me and forget all about me.

Did I ever tell you that Speed and I were going to visit my eFriend in America this summer? We got free flights, free accommodation, I was sooo infinitely excited to go!! ...but now Speed has pulled out. Wow! You really can't rely on anyone else to do things in life! I suppose I've only got myself to blame, though. He won't tell me what the reason is but I can imagine that he can't stand me anymore.

Why am I still so hideously annoying! I really felt like I have grown out of it, lately. But I probably haven't... My older sister used to give me 2 pence a day if I didn't annoy her. She hated me SOO MUCH. She would tell me how she will NEVER forgive me, even when we're adults and living on our own. We get along fine now, though. Now that I don't see her very much. I suppose what Hobday said to me is true: I'm only good in moderation. Truly.

....Ahh, I'm going to curl-up and die a little now, blog. I knew you'd understand. Speak to you soon! xx